BABYMOMMA- slang. the mother of a man's biological child; especially: one who is not married to or in a long-term, intimate relationship with the child's father.

|this is the cleanest definition I could find. Don't look it up in the "urban dictionary". SHESH|

So did you guys actually think I was going to let September leave without kissing it goodbye? That wouldn't be love now, would it?
The coolest thing about blogging is that you can be as FREE, AUTHENTIC, and PETTY as you like without anyone having a say so. Simply because it's YOUR sh*t!

The second coolest thing is that INSPIRATION can come from anywhere or anyone. Whether it's positive or negative (in this case, it was negative but it's inspiration so it'll do). Honestly, I couldn't have finished this without your help so thank you!

The life of a BABYMOMMA ha! Let's just start off by saying I dislike that word with a passion. It says nothing but DRAMA. But, what I've also learned was to keep the drama on the page. Julia Cameron said it best ''I practice exactly what I preach if you dump drama into my life, I will put it and you onto a page.''

So here we are.

Have you ever met someone who felt like a person you could potentially start a family with? Or plan a future together even without a penny to spare? The type of person who continuously shows you that he/she is not "the one" through repetitive actions? I once blamed him for hurting me but I allowed it, so it continued *self reminder- take ownership of the things you allow). The lying, cheating and more lying. Trying to create a man out of a boy.. who did I think I was? I wanted to be in love so bad at seventeen/eighteen. Funny thing is,I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT LOVE.

I was in love with the idea of being with him but actually being in love with him was a lie. I was lying to myself so therefore I was living a lie. Yes, I was taking him back constantly because I thought that's what LOYALTY meant but, it was UNHEALTHY and honestly I was too young to be putting myself through all that bullsh*t. I AM still too young for bullsh*t *another self reminder- dead flowers can't grow).

The big question here is "why did you have a baby with this guy?" We were on and off constantly everything we argued over turned into a break up. As much as my mother was in my ear telling me to LEAVE HIS ASS ALONE, I didn't have the strength to just get up and go, even though it was F*CK YOU TOO!

Regardless of what we were going through, there was another life inside of me that needed both of us. I didn't want anyone telling me how to raise my child. I took my own path because I felt it would help me grow and learn from my own mistakes. My child saved my life. I felt like I had NO ONE. I didn't even know how to love on myself. I knew that she was the only one who could save me from me. She made me feel like someone important, she gave me POWER.

You may be asking, what power? The power to forgive, let go, and love unconditionally. I thought I knew what love was because I've been in a few relationships but I didn't... until I met her.

Fast forward to life five years later..

Life is still hectic. Mainly because I am not where I should be at twenty-three (well so I think. I never really give myself credit anyway). Then I think about JK Rowling, who was completely broke at 23. Oprah,who had just been fired from her first job as a TV reporter and even Walt Disney, who declared bankruptcy. Each of them are icons and very successful probably beyond their wildest dreams. Not to compare those stories to mine, but it gives me hope. I'm pretty sure they thought how I am thinking now. Not giving up is the key to all beautiful things. I constantly have to remind myself that everything isn't supposed to be together right now, and that's okay.

HERE'S MY PETTY MOMENT (MY TRUTHS)

I am living stress free for the most part.. besides the unnecessary/unwanted BABYMOMMA drama. This usually stems from the mother and father beefing because they aren't together but are still dealing with each other ( i.e. most child support cases). Or when there is little to no structure when it comes to building a healthy relationship (for the child's sake) after a breakup. Or when the mother is unhappy because he moved on while she's still dangling off of his words (going places in life with him, getting married, starting a family etc.).

Luckily in my case, NONE of these were the case. So how did I get mixed into something I tried avoiding? He allows the third party to invade our space of peace. Ironically, it seems we are greater at co-parenting when he's not dealing with anyone. It's like, why does it have to be that way? Find a woman who's going to respect your situation, not one who's willing to invade it with negativity. I never wanted to be that girlfriend. The one who was dating someone's father and disliked the mother of his child because of insecurities.

MEN, stop allowing the mother of your child to be disrespected by the third party (your girl, boo, etc.). This is a note for women as well. So many things could be avoided if you check it at the door. It's not cool and it causes problems between the two parents. Keep in mind this also effects who really matters; the child/children. It isn't the third party's place to invade into the parental relationship. This is especially true if he/she does not contribute or have a child / children of their own.

It's really tough for young single mothers who are go-getters. Those who hustle off the corporate clocks and make sacrifices. The type of sacrifices that a provider is supposed to make without even thinking twice. Those who consistently choose their child's happiness over theirs every time. Even if it calls for headaches and sleepless nights.

Trust me, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. And sorry third party, but these shoes are already taken.

In African proverb it says "it takes a village to raise a child" and I am thankful for the village that I do have, I never needed extras.

*starts singing Mary J Blige No More Drama* because I chose to win and Mary literally has a damn song for everything ha!

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