Is it ever too late to get back to doing what you love? HELL NO!

Roz, where the hell have you been? For a second it felt like to hell and back... but guess what? Ya girl is back... and I am feeling good, actually HELLA GREAT!

For a few months I felt uninspired, I was in the midst of sorting out my baggage, figuring out what I needed to take with me as ''guidance'' and what were the things I just wanted to take but really didn't need because eventually, it was going to cause more clutter and create more problems in my space than I needed.

Honestly, it's just better to ''pack light''. Everyone has some sort of baggage but some sh*t you just don't need to take with ya.

I even tried to link up with a girlfriend of mines who's a dope photographer and thought hey let's take some photos. You know, maybe it'll inspire me to start creating again...but time just went by and still NOTHING. I felt nothing, I felt stuck. I let things that I NEVER should've let get to me, get to me. There were days where I couldn't even look at myself without feeling disappointed. I felt weak...I knew that I owed myself so much more than what I was actually giving myself.

I knew that I needed to REMIND MYSELF ''WHO THE F*CK I WAS'' ( reminding yourself from time to time is so necessary!) Also remembering that I didn't build myself nor did I position myself to go back to where I once was which was allowing fear, and negativity to control my every move. There's no way I worked this hard to back track.

After working 12 hours last Tuesday I hurried up and rushed home and headed straight for the television because I felt like this is where I could possibly get back my spark and I did...BLACKS GIRLS ROCK aired August 22nd on BET and the timing was perfect. From start to finish I felt as if I was in that room and although I wasn't physically there, one day I will be .*puts that out into the Universe* So much magic in one room, black women from every background, from all parts of the world came together to acknowledge, uplift, and celebrate each other.

The honoree's speeches alone were enough to inspire every black girl who was not only there but who was watching from home as well. Just to name a few women who were honored like Suzanne Shank, Yara Shahidi, Issa Rae, Roberta Flank, Solange, Maxine Waters, Natalie and Derrica Wilson.

Although every woman who spoke speeches were inspiring I just wanted to share some of the speeches that connected to me.

SOLANGE KNOWLES SPEECH:

"Black women make me feel invincible.

It's the way that we walk. It's the way that we talk. Our soul, our sway, our grace, our ROOTS. It's our secret language with one another... The way we uplift each other at our best and our worst. When I was young girl, I was searching and searching and searching for a language to articulate who I was and what I felt like inside. I want to tell the young black girls who might be watching this out here that "I am still searching" and I don't always have it figured out. There are days where I feel VERY INSECURE, and I feel like I FAILED. There are days where I feel so GODDAMN WEIRD and ALONE but I get up and I want you to know "YOU CAN" and you will too. I've come to realize that maybe that language that I was yearning for could never be discovered...that I just had to "live it" and to walk in my truths, my weaknesses, and TAKE MY TIME!"

ROBERTA FLACK WORDS :

''Celebrate your success, learn from your mistakes, be grateful, forgive and preserve. I've always said love is a song'' each of you have something special to give, you keep singing that song, love is a sing because someone in the world in the whole wide world that needs to hear it.''

ISSA RAE

For a very long time I defined myself by what I wasn't, which constantly set me up for failure and disappointment. My life changed when I focused on what I was, what I was good at, what I liked most about myself and what made me stand out.

LASTLY, AUNTIE MAXINE

''If it wasn't for the love and support of black women the ''ALT- HATERS'' would me to believe. I'M TOO BLACK, I'M TOO CONFRONTATIONAL, I AM TOO TOUGH & TOO DISRESPECTFUL OF THEM BUT NOW I know I'm simply a strong black woman! ''

In closing with her most popular saying "RECLAIMING MY TIME!''

What these women said during their speeches was for me to hear. I learned that it's okay to feel GODDAMN WEIRD at times ( it's okay to feel uncomfortable, it's part of facing your fear and conquering even at your weakest point.) Yes, I've felt like I've failed myself because I stopped writing, and contributing to my creative side, I even felt like maybe I might've disappointed others like my readers but still, I have a song that I want others to hear! I wasted enough time on things I shouldn't have, like placing my energy in others hands and allowing others to BLOCK MY VIEW. I've always been a ''GIVER" without questioning but I am no longer giving my time and energy to those who are responsible for draining me ... I AM RECLAIMING MY TIME! I AM NOT ONLY A BLACK GIRL WHO ROCKS BUT A BLACK WOMAN THAT KNOWS WHO THE F*CK SHE IS!

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