Was this title bold enough, or were you genuinely interested in what I had to say? Either way, welcome.

I don't know if it's just me, or does it feel like not only are these companies sucking the life out of us but are good at making us feel like complete sh*t on top of all the pain and agony they put us through.

Before heading out, I read a tweet this morning on Twitter that said:

"I was 26 years old when I realized that interviews were not only about "getting" the job but seeing if the situation was right for me. You have to ask questions so that you prevent yourself from entering a toxic environment" -@AlyssaBigbee

Not only did I feel every bit of what she said, but I am also at the age where asking these kinds of questions is extremely important. Everyone's goal in an interview is to "nail it," but have you ever asked yourself, does this company deserve me? When that interviewer asks you, do you have any questions? Ask the questions that will benefit you, again like knowing what kind of environment you could be potentially working in...don't get me wrong along the way, I've met some genuine people that I still very much adore. But on the flip side, I've had many terrible runs ends with companies that were under poor management to the point where I almost felt like a magnet to it, like why me? After having my daughter, I tried to stay as still as possible, even if I didn't like the job because, in my mind, it was the right thing to do. It was about security.
But then I realized doing it for her never meant downplaying what I deserved or handing myself the short end of any stick. And that it should always consist of giving myself more, never settling, and lastly, to aim higher.

I told myself I would not be that person who sat behind a desk for 20+ years for a company where I know I wasn't happy because "it pays the bills." I am not saying quit your 9 to 5 job because honestly, I don't know your situation. Nor do I have the salary of Oprah to help pay your bills, but ask yourself, is the pay worth your sanity and peace? If I could do it so can you. I am known for "having a new job every time someone turns around." if you let my grandmother or mother tell it. Ha But that’s not how I see it, I see it as a learning curve and moving forward to see what else is available to learn.

I don't particularly agree with the saying "having too many jobs isn't a good thing'', because neither is working in unhealthy environments or places that are stunting your growth. Nor do I agree with the terms "everywhere you go there's going to be something you'll have to put up with” because no, there are actual people out there who love their jobs. And quite frankly, I would like to become a part of that percentage that does. I still laugh about the time my sister texted me mid-day asking me what does my "coversheet" says. I laughed and then replied, what coversheet? For my resume? I don't have one.

Unlike myself, my sister studied at Monmouth University in which she got her BS in Accounting, she had a good-paying job at that time in which she hated. I wasn’t unaware of this until that brief moment of conversation we had. She hated it to the point where it made her feel ill.

It made me upset not only because I know what it's like to feel that same illness but because she shouldn't have to feel that way. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO HATE THEIR JOB/ CAREER, regardless of the level of education you have. I don't have my degree yet, but knowing that someone with a degree also has a hard time says a lot more about what the work field looks like other than someone's level of education.
I told her to put her personality on paper; that's my secret. Look at it from the employer or a recruiter's perspective. Yes, it's great to see your accomplishments on paper. Still you won't be the only person doing so. It's your opportunity to stand out! So shine Ha, but the most important thing I was able to share with her even then was making sure they deserve you.

Any job that is going to take away from me in any way, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally it's NO LONGER for me. Before stepping into the new year, I wanted to do right by myself and mean well, so I did just that. My cleansing started with my last job. I worked as a temp in the levy department for a well-known bank. Before my contract came up for the extension period, I asked my manager to refresh my memory of when that day was. When our quarterly meeting came around, he asked me how things were going. As I inhaled and exhaled, I told myself this was going to be the day and moment I speak on how I genuinely feel. I had already made up in my mind that if he had in his mind that he wanted to keep me on, I no longer wanted to continue working for the company.

When I say it was a mess, it was. I had to drag myself into work for my last few days there, and it made me sicker by the day. Why didn't anyone warn me about working in a cubicle setting? Never again, you would think your associates are old enough to act like adults and not like kids, but it's the complete opposite. I was too full of life to be in an office full of people who were content. Leaving that place was indeed an ultimate relief.

Just as every broke creative, I had an epiphany that maybe this 9 to 5 sh*t isn't working for me because maybe just maybe it's pushing me to go harder towards my dreams. Which is to stand firm in what I believe in.. Creating art of any sort makes me happy; writing is my haven, the goal is to do more of it simply because

I'm done dreaming... I want to live.

(P.S I also enjoy my new 9 to 5 ha. CHEERS)

xo. feel free to like, comment, and share.